Patience really is a virtue
As parents, we often have no patience. We’re juggling work, domestic life and if our children don’t do what we ask them to, our patience is seriously tested.
As a parent and someone who works with children myself, I (Danny) know all about this!
But what if we stopped for a second, looked at the situation from another angle, moreover the child’s point of view, and tried another, more sympathetic tactic? Could we get a better result?
Well, it’s worth a try.
Children, like adults, are complex. They all have multiple thoughts a day, going through various emotions, learning how to cope with emotions and, above all, are sponges to what they see every day.
It’s also so easy to make a judgment about a child, any child based on your immediate observations. Like when you go to the pub with your friends and a 4 year old is throwing a tantrum because they can’t have chips (‘spoilt brat’ you think) or a toddler is in their push chair, glued to a tablet whilst their parent talks on the phone to a friend (‘what a neglectful parent’ you think).
But how did they get to that moment? Maybe the child had chips 3 days in a row and the agreement was already made that they couldn’t have them again and the tantrum is a natural way of learning about change and agreement? Or the parent with the child on the tablet may be juggling all sorts of stuff and has picked this one moment for a well earned break and has rewarded the child with this special treat?
You see, every story has a different side, especially with children.
Recently at our Summer Holiday Club we had a child who came to us for their first day. The child was nothing short of a nightmare! Not listening, speaking out regularly, getting totally distracted. Perhaps the child had undiagnosed ADHD? Who knows. But after constant reminders and warnings about their behaviour and offers of sticker prizes if they improved, they started to sit on their own and something clicked. Perhaps they realised what they were doing was disruptive? Perhaps they were misbehaving because they weren’t used to any boundaries at home? Or maybe it was a way of dealing with nerves on their first day in a brand new environment?
Whatever it was, the next day the child came back and was completely different! Listening, sitting still when required, totally different and brilliant. And do you know what? They then won our Star Performer of The Day!
Patience? It really is a virtue.
