Structure & Routine

“I think it’s time for the Three B’s”. This was something I (James) often heard from my sister or brother-in-law when they had young children. When I eventually questioned its meaning, they told me that it was their bedtime mantra - the Three B’s stood for ‘bath, bottle, bed’. In that order. Every time. 

I initially thought it was just their shorthand way of communicating when the kids were getting tired, suggesting swift action be taken to get them down for the night. But I also reckon the Three B’s was as much for my niece and nephew as it was for their parents. For the children, it was a way to bring about some kind of recognisable structure and routine. 

Let’s say bath time was at 6, the final bottle of the day followed at 6.30, then a story and bedtime at 7. My sister told me that if this order of events was adhered to at (approximately) the same time every day, getting them off to sleep was a great deal smoother. As someone who doesn’t have children, this commitment to routine was interesting to hear. If I got a quid every time a friend with children said to me “any chance we could move that coffee to 2pm so it doesn’t upset [name of child]’s routine?”, I’d be a good deal better off. I will always happily oblige of course. I have witnessed just how important routine is for babies and toddlers and, perhaps more potently, have seen what can unfold if they are disrupted.

A few years ago on NYE I was travelling from Sussex up to my best friend’s house in the Peak District. I was driving up after a pantomime performance and was unable to get there until about 10pm. They reluctantly allowed their four month old daughter to stay up until I arrived so I could give her a big NY cuddle. My friends were aware of the risk of disrupting her routine in this way but, hey, New Year’s Eve comes but once a year, right? Well, let’s just say they haven’t made the same decision in subsequent years. They have since told me that it knocked her sleeping pattern off for at least a week. Cue several days of a grizzly, unhappy and unsettled baby.

So, routine is important for kids, we all know that. But why? Well I’ve done some basic research which offers the following  list of reasons:

Security and Emotional Stability:
Predictable routines help children feel safe and secure, reducing anxiety and promoting a sense of control. 
Cognitive Development:
Routines support the development of time management skills, self-regulation, and executive functions. 
Social and Emotional Growth:
Routines help children learn social skills, communicate effectively, and build self-confidence. 
Improved Sleep and Healthy Habits:
Consistent bedtime routines and mealtime routines promote healthy sleep patterns and contribute to overall well-being. 
Independence and Autonomy:
Routines can help children develop a sense of independence and autonomy by providing them with opportunities to take on tasks and make choices within their routine. 

At Nutty’s we are big fans of routine - take our Holiday Club, for example. Each day is carefully structured in a similar way: break times, drama, arts and craft activities and playground trips all happen at approximately the same time every day. The sense of familiarity this brings helps the children to feel secure in the structure of the day and can even help to develop their sense of planning and time management (it doesn’t matter if they don’t finish their colouring in at morning Free Play - there will be an afternoon Free Play for them to return to it).

Our parties are also steeped in structure and recognisable format. We start with a few warm up games to break the ice, move on to the main event - the adventure! - before having a break for party food and then finishing up for games. All of this runs within a robust narrative framework, with the familiar order of beginning, middle and end. All of this encourages the children to explore group play, independence and helps to set boundaries and parameters.

Okay, let’s not pretend that my above musings over the benefits of structure and routine is particularly revelatory. Kids benefit from a regular bedtime? Who saw that coming?! But there’s a lot to be said in reminding ourselves of stating the obvious. Amongst our fast paced world of endless tech, stressful decision making and a grim news cycle, going back to basics and checking in with our children’s routine might just be a reassuring thing to do.